A Tiny Sock.
Once objects have served their purpose, we humans don’t always let them go. Maybe they mean too much to throw away or donate but can’t really ever be used in the same way again. I’m not talking about our need to recycle or be smarter about buying things that last. I’m talking about our human need to keep objects that just mean something to us – sometimes for inexplicable reasons. Some animals do this too, it’s not a completely human trait but I imagine that a magpie or a packrat collects things for different reasons than we do… at least I think so.
Some objects have such palpable meaning that you want to keep them, even if you never lay eyes on them again for years. Just knowing they are close by is enough. Even people who claim they are not sentimental sometimes save things they have encountered along life’s road that bring them some sort of memory. A feather, a book of matches, a concert t-shirt.
My grandfather once handed me a tiny paper tote bag that he got in his travels, it was printed in Hebrew with a pretty logo on it, I think from some shop in New York. I have no idea why, he just said… “you need this”, and there it was in my hands. Surely, if he wanted me to have it, I would take it. I still have it filed away in one of my desk drawers where I keep other sentimental paper things. Every time I see it, I wish I could call and ask him why he wanted me to have it. I like to think he just thought it was cute and couldn’t throw it away. Will I ever get rid of it? Probably not.
Sometimes what triggers memories are not “things”. Our sentimental selves are often triggered by a smell. Science tells us that olfactory memories are some of the strongest a human can have. Grandma’s perfume wafting by, or the savory scent of meatloaf in the oven could take you places you haven’t been in years. I’ve been taken back to childhood just thinking about the distinctive sulphur smell of a spent cap or opening a can of playdough. The scent of sewing machine oil brings me back to my maternal grandmother’s attic, where she sewed into the wee hours of the night mending things and creating clothes for my dolls.
If you are a thrift store or eBay shopper, you could be tossed into yesterday by seeing a knick-knack or a toy that brought you joy and happiness as a child. Some fisher price toys, vintage easy bake ovens and Dawn dolls (anyone remember them?) bring back incredibly vivid memories for me.
Alas, these triggered memories are not always entirely happy. They can be really poignant and are often bittersweet. Shopping for Toys for Tots this year I found a Breyer Unicorn, and remembered having a ceramic unicorn with a gold horn on my dresser as a tween. It was stolen in a break-in many years ago. But now I can provide a unicorn for a child that might not have something under the tree, and that somehow makes everything right again.
Unavoidably if you save things that belonged to loved ones no longer here, or objects from a time period long past, there may be melancholy moments when you pick them up and feel a pang of sorrow for something or someone, or even some place that you can’t bring back.
Today, we needed to do some deep cleaning which entailed opening some storage areas that are usually blocked and never accessed. Upon opening one of them up, one of the tiniest socks in existence spilled out. I hadn’t seen any of the baby clothes that I stored many years ago in – well – forever. Brightly colored in red and blue, that tiny little sock reminded me that once my now senior in high school used to be a wee helpless snuggly baby who needed me a lot more than he needs me now. It reminded me that time is fleeting and the bond between a mother and child sometimes starts long before socks are needed. But it also reminded me that though my child is almost an adult there will be many more times that he will need me. To listen, to teach, to help and if I’m lucky to hug. Thinking about it, though it felt sad initially, I’m glad that tiny sock appeared today. I had forgotten that I kept those kinds of memories boxed up under the eaves. I bet there are many more memories hidden back there, perfect for a rainy day when I need to remember the precious, fleeting days our lives.
